I discovered Bitcoin at $3 in 2011, when I was still in college. I was growing shrooms at the time, and my friend showed me the Silk Road. I had $6000 saved up, and I was about to put it all in gold and silver. I thought maybe I should get some bitcoin too, just in case the world doesn't end in 2012.
I went on Coinbase's sketchy ass website at the time, filled out an order form for 100 btc for about $300, and got cold feet when it required my banking account/routing info. I was probably too late anyway… it had already gone from pennies to three whole dollars. Plus, it was definitely going to get shut down by tbtb.
Then it hit mainstream. Bitcoin pumped to $265. I bought 2 btc at the top. It crashed to $70. I sold them at the bottom.
Fast forward a couple of years, btc was hovering around $100. The Silk Road got shut down, and btc flash crashed and instantly retraced. It finally clicked that Bitcoin was never going anywhere. It would inevitably become the global reserve money, and each btc would be worth millions. I sold my gold and silver, sold all my belongings (paintball gun, ipad, etc.), moved back in with my mom, and literally went all in on bitcoin. I continued to accumulate up to $1200, through the bear market back to $200, and I held almost entirely through the next wave to 20K.
I say "almost," because during the alt craze I started dabbling in trading with ~10% of my stack, with the goal of accumulating more btc. By that time, I had ~150 btc that I knew would be worth more than $150M one day. Apparently that wasn't enough.
That was about 3-4 years ago. It was the beginning of a downward spiral, and last Saturday night I reached the bottom. The last of my btc, liquidated. The whole way down, I was convinced I was one trade away from getting back to where I was. I was seeking redemption instead of accepting my losses and forgiving myself.
Losing 150 bitcoin is pretty painful. I could have retired my dad by now. I also feel ashamed, like I lost my tickets to revolution that I was so excited to be part of.
But it's not that bad. It's nothing like losing someone you love. My guess is there are a lot of people who have lost less… so maybe my story can put it in perspective. Understand that this is a gambling addiction rooted in not accepting the past. The only cure is to accept and forgive.
On the bright side, Bitcoin gifted me the ability to invest in a business that I'm passionate about without needing to take a salary for the last 3 years. The most I ever splurged was on a $700 electric scooter. But I've also been able to pay my rent and cover my basic needs. Now, I have the opportunity to focus on my business without constantly staring at the charts.
Find the gift, find the lesson. For those who are hodling, enjoy the ride to $1M. I'm off for now.